I distinctly recall my mom telling me that I couldn’t go to Kindergarten unless I knew all my ABC’s, count to 100, and recite my telephone number and address. I wanted to go to school just llike my sister and friends. I believed my mom, so I worked hard as I could and she helped me along the way.
When I sent my daughter to school, I also pressed that she work hard to be ready to go to Kindergarten academically. My millenium daughter not only needed to be academically prepared for school, but also socially. I worked hard to made sure that I planted seeds of character in her so she would be socially and emotionally able to get along with others in a school setting.
As an educator, I have always believed in teaching the whole child so they can be prepared to thrive in an ever changing world. Teaching children social emotional skills is just as important as preparing them to achieve academically in their early years. If a child can read going into Kindergarten, but they do not know how to show mutual respect, actively listen, and get along with others, then they will struggle in school early on and may contintue to be challenged socially throughout their school years.
Some researchers will even argue that these social and emotional skills are foundational to learning and can be even more important than academic skills. After decades of working in schools, I side with those researchers. Social and emotional stability trumps academic achievent in the majority of students who are struggling in school settings.
Many times social and emotional skills begin to be acquired naturally at home. When children are placed in settings such as in a play group or in pre-school, they watch their peers and how they play well with others. In turn, they mimic the positive behaviors and begin to display their own achieved skills.
Some children easily grasp the idea of how to show respect, solve a conflict peacefully and take responsibility. While other children need to be explicitly taught steps and on how to treat other with respect and cooperate with them.
In a preschool classroom with 3- and 4-year-old children you will typically see smiling faces, hear laughter and giggles during free play. They are curious about what happens next during story time. They will ask what and why questions while doing hands-on activities and they will use words to express feelings and needs.
Children who are socially and emotionally healthy tend to demonstrate, and continue to develop, several important behaviors and skills (adapted from McClellan & Katz 2001 and Bilmes 2012). They:
• Are usually in a positive mood
• Listen and follow directions
• Have close relationships with caregivers and peers
• Care about friends and show interest in others
• Recognize, label, and manage their own emotions
• Understand others’ emotions and show empathy
• Express wishes and preferences clearly
• Gain access to ongoing play and group activities
• Are able to play, negotiate, and compromise
Teachers and caregivers can intentionally support children’s social and emotional health by reading aloud children’s books that are related to children’s recent social and emotional behaviors in the classroom. Stories that are read aloud can be followed up by planning extension activities. This can be with a craft, games and songs.
Coaching children on the spot will help children realize what they are doing, understand how their actions affect others, and choose positive alternatives. Modeling what children do is key and it may need to be repeated often.
Giving meaningful, effective praise to young children is critical. Do this by describing specifically what you see without generalizing, evaluating, or making comparisons. For instance, say, “I like how you….” or “Let me show you how to….”
Teachers and caregivers can model appropriate and respectful behaviors by simply acting out what is expected in a warm, kind way. Explanations are essential for clarifying and modeling behavior. When children see adults demonstrate this strategy, they will often respond with positive behaviors.
Visual cues are also essential for reminding children to practice what they have learned. Hanging up visual cues function as a reminder of solutions and appropriate actions. Place visuals where it is needed – where the child needs to hang up a backback, a calm down corner, or expectations. When doing this, keep in mind that too many visuals are overwheming to children. They need a simple, clean, neat woking envrionment.
In conclusion, pre-school teachers and caregivers can intentionally teach and enhance these social and emotional skills by explicitly teaching, modeling and reinforcing positive behaviors. When it is prioritized to develop children’s social and emotional health are richly rewarded with happy, engaged children who learn to avoid and resolve conflicts, share and take turns, and express their emotions in productive ways.